Soul Searching

       This week when we had to identify ourselves, I found it somewhat difficult. I struggled to find the right words and I realized that I don't even know myself that well. Yeah, I'm a daughter, sister, tennis player, procrastinator, but I couldn't identify myself the way I wanted to. I want a unique identity that differs from the norm. Just like Beneatha, I'm struggling to find my identity.
       Other people would see me as a stereotypical asian who spends all day studying and having absolutely no social life. They'd think that I aspire to attend Harvard who has a tiger mom. People who really know me know that I'm on the dumb(for the lack of a better word) level on the asian scale. I try my hardest but the odds are typically not in my favor. I'm somewhat pessimistic but I try my hardest to bring optimism into other peoples' lives(*ironic).
       Ever since we were little, the "what do you want to be when you grow up?" question has been reiterated numerous times. To be honest, I still don't really know the answer. I still don't know how to identify myself. I still don't know my true character. I fear writing college essays as I don't even know who I am myself. Beneatha states that she wants to be a doctor, yet she's very flakey. She tries numerous activities-guitar lessons and horseback riding-and dates numerous men as well. She doesn't know how to identify herself as she wants to be different from her stereotype. She doesn't just want to grow up to be another housewife.
       I guess we all somewhat struggle to find our identities but everyone (hopefully) finds it eventually. May the odds be ever in your favor.