Soul Searching

       This week when we had to identify ourselves, I found it somewhat difficult. I struggled to find the right words and I realized that I don't even know myself that well. Yeah, I'm a daughter, sister, tennis player, procrastinator, but I couldn't identify myself the way I wanted to. I want a unique identity that differs from the norm. Just like Beneatha, I'm struggling to find my identity.
       Other people would see me as a stereotypical asian who spends all day studying and having absolutely no social life. They'd think that I aspire to attend Harvard who has a tiger mom. People who really know me know that I'm on the dumb(for the lack of a better word) level on the asian scale. I try my hardest but the odds are typically not in my favor. I'm somewhat pessimistic but I try my hardest to bring optimism into other peoples' lives(*ironic).
       Ever since we were little, the "what do you want to be when you grow up?" question has been reiterated numerous times. To be honest, I still don't really know the answer. I still don't know how to identify myself. I still don't know my true character. I fear writing college essays as I don't even know who I am myself. Beneatha states that she wants to be a doctor, yet she's very flakey. She tries numerous activities-guitar lessons and horseback riding-and dates numerous men as well. She doesn't know how to identify herself as she wants to be different from her stereotype. She doesn't just want to grow up to be another housewife.
       I guess we all somewhat struggle to find our identities but everyone (hopefully) finds it eventually. May the odds be ever in your favor.

Goin' for the Gold

      A common theme that was shown in all three of Fitzgerald's pieces was a man's disillusioned chase after wealth. In The Great Gatsby, Gatsby chases after the dream of Daisy and struggles in re-living the past he had with her. He becomes obsessed with wealth, money, and luxury. When he first meets Daisy, he is amazed by her beauty, wealth, and status. In The Diamond As Big As the Ritz, John has a similar obsession with wealth as he falls in love with Kismine. Fitzgerald exposes how corrupted a person can become as a result from the chase after wealth. Gatsby dies, and Kismine's whole family dies but she's happy with the fact that she's poor now because it gives her a new sensation.
     

A Little Party Never Killed Nobody

       We all love to fantasize about a more idealistic self. Whether it be to be smarter, taller, skinnier, or richer, we all do it. As kids, whenever we wrote personal narratives or stories, we all created our "ideal selves". We would get rid of the flaws and create an ideal "fairytale ending" to our stories. We created fantasies of what we wanted to be when we grew up. We created dreams, hopes, and desires. We created a happy ending to our lives. It was only when we grew up that we realized these dreams are difficult to attain. It's like the world has set us up for failure. Regardless of that, we take our regrets as we grow up and create more ideal situations if we could have a "re-do". But there are no "re-dos" in life, and that may be the hardest thing to cope with.

       Fitzgerald mimicked this as he incorporated the qualities of his later life into Gatsby, and his simple past in Nick. In Gatsby, he mimics how he lost his goal of the "American Dream" as he cheated his way into become rich in order to get the girl of his dreams. Both Gatsby and Fitzgerald had to make something out of themselves in order to win over the hearts of their materialistic lovers. Gatsby reinvents a whole new man out of himself and even changes his name. The "great" in his name implies that he is some magical being that everyone envies but it is really all an illusion. It is all just an image that he has created for himself. Even though Gatsby's ending was tragic and he didn't win the girl, this is perhaps how Fitzgerald really felt as well even though he married Zelda in the end. He felt that his pursuit for wealth corrupted his original ideals of individualism and the pursuit of happiness. He saw that Americans fell into this trap as well. Nick, on the other hand, represented Fitzgerald's simpler life before his chase of wealth and status-when the American Dream was still alive. Another thing to note is that neither Nick nor Gatsby drink much alcohol. This could be one of the qualities that Fitzgerald purposefully instilled to reflect his regrets in his struggle with alcoholism. He put his regrets, hopes, and dreams that were corrupted into this story. 

       I feel like materialism still prevails today. I find it very ironic that we give thanks and are grateful for everything on Thanksgiving, but then the day following, we turn into greedy monsters who are on a hunt for materialistic items. On the night of Thanksgiving, my brother dragged me along to Walmart just to get video games. As we waited in the freezing cold for about and hour and a half, I just thought to myself, is this really worth it? People skip Thanksgiving dinner just to go line up for days, even weeks ahead for materialistic things. They stampede each other, fight, and battle for these things. They turn into monsters. What's more worth it? Spending time with your family or fighting the crowd to get the newest HD flatscreen TV? People still have a craving for luxuries, and tend to make an image out of themselves out of the material things they have. Everyone wants the newest Iphone, gadgets, and more money. We have forgotten what makes us human. We have forgotten the pursuit of happiness and forgotten who we are. How much is too much? We would like to think that we have overcome the past, but history is repeating itself. When will this stop? 

"So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past."

May The Odds Be Ever In Your Favor

       Human suffering is as old as time. In Giovanni's piece, she describes how human suffering is seen everywhere in history- from the Holocaust to the Native Americans to just everyday crime in cities. She brings out this fault in the world and makes a call to action for us all to escape this labyrinth.
       She criticizes the fact that Harry Potter is merely just a boy who lived. His story is similar to many people's lives today. He was simply one out of millions who "[bloomed] in the noise of the whirlwind" Giovanni makes fun of the fact of how modern day people praise Harry Potter for the magic, wizards, etc, and often overlook the important moral lesson hidden behind the plot. His mom's unconditional motherly love prevails and sets a platform for him to live on. He seizes this opportunity as he grows older to bloom through the suffering. Giovanni criticizes Harry Potter as well because his story isn't that spectacular. Why don't people give Neville any recognition? He was an orphan who suffered just as much as Harry.
       The point is that suffering is everywhere. Even the elephant story showed the struggle in the savannah but the motherly love protected the infant so he could have a chance to bloom. Blooming means finding your identity, but Giovanni shows how in this world of chaos it is often very difficult to do it through all the suffering. "I am neither the white man you think I am nor the Black man I hope to be."
        After watching Catching Fire this weekend, I realized that the morals of human suffering and "blooming through the whirlwind" are also prevalent in this story. Katniss blooms in the whirlwind as the Capitol casts suffering to the districts. Just like Harry Potter and the elephant, Katniss shows "motherly" love towards her sister as she sacrifices herself. She becomes the hero of the story who serves as a symbol of hope. Another point worth noting is that people are often only consumed and concerned about the love triangle that surrounds the story, and often overlook the deep moral lessons- such as the corruption of the capitol and how much the poeple are suffering. The Hunger Games isn't just a story about some heroine with some hot boys, it's about love, hope, sacrifice, and suffering. That's just like how people are often only drawn into the magic, wands, and wizards of Harry Potter.
       Just as Giovanni is trying to say- there is hope for change before the savannah completely vanishes but humans need to take action now.

!?!?!?! *P [_] |\| ( + [_] /\ + ! O |\|* ?!?!?!?!

         If there's one thing I learned this week, it would be that debating is hard-very hard. As both sides argued back and forth, both had really good rebuttals.
        For the anti-side, our strongest rebuttal was probably just that the standard conventions of punctuation would limit individual style(especially in the 21st century with Twitter, etc) and how punctuation is ever-evolving.
       The other side makes a good point about how it is important for clarification, especially in academic or professional settings. Even though I was on the anti side, I find myself still debating whether the standards of punctuation is necessary. I understand how it's important in academic settings, but I find that most teens disregard punctuation on social networks or texting just because they assume people can understand them through the context.
       An example of the "individual style" of punctuation is seen when teens choose to use a period or not. It's kind of funny that "Ok","Ok." are interpreted differently. A lot of people automatically assume that the period means, "Uh oh this person is pissed!" Also it is very, very rare to see correct punctuation on twitter. Most people just want the freedom of expression without having to worry about some "standard" that they have to follow. Punctuation not only puts in areas where there should be a pause-nowadays it also shows the tone, mood, and attitude.
   
Argument for punctuation:

A wonderful song regarding the oxford comma:

Marked for Life?

        Alas, time for another blog post. When I read There Is No Unmarked Woman, a sadness came upon me as I realized that women were trapped in this horrible game of marking. We are judged by every action, every word, every movement. Throwing back to a previous topic, I think all of this started back in the day when men started to stereotype women as weak. Being seen as weak, the only way that women had an chance of gaining power was against other women, so they compared each other in the aspects of beauty, wealth, status, etc. As time progressed, although women have gained more rights than the past, this "default setting" of judgment and competition among women has stayed. I think that part of this marking by men has started from women. 

          So, I think the only way to get rid of this "marking" is when women stop the marking first. If even women can't stop labeling each other by their sexuality, how can the rest of society? Even just in high school there isn't a day where I don't hear a girl go "Look at what she's wearing! She's such a slob; Wow she talks to so many boys, she's such a flirt!" We need to start the change and serve as an example. 

      Relating to The Scarlet Letter, I think Hester serves as a prime example. Instead of conforming to what society expects her to act like, she uses her marking as a slap back in their face by remaining strong. Contrary to what many men would think, Hester(THE WOMAN) is stronger than Dimmesdale(THE MAN) in this case. She defies the stereotype of women being the weaker sex. 

Lesson of the day: listen to Rosie!

 My reaction to the end of The Scarlet Letter:

The Truth Will Set You Free

       Lies on lies on lies. It's an inevitable part of our lives. There comes to a point where your pile of lies will consume you. You are your lies, your lies are you. You'll reach a breaking point, and your guilt will eat you from the inside out.
       This week as we read The Scarlet Letter, we saw two different ways of dealing with sins. Hester, being found out, confessed her sin and was harshly judged by all the townspeople. Although she was condemned to a lifetime of judgement, she could live her life freely with Pearl since her sin was already out there. She doesn't have the guilt of her sin eating her out anymore. Also, as the years passed, the townspeople have somewhat forgiven her and now view her differently. Instead of the letter A representing adultery, they now think it stand for able. They think she's a very kind woman who helps out the poor. Although she is still shunned, the judgement on her has decreased.
       On the other hand, Dimmesdale cannot bring himself to confess his sin. As a minister, the townspeople would go insane if they found out that he also confessed the sin. As he holds his sin in, it is eating him alive not only emotionally and mentally, but also physically. His guilt will pile up until he reaches his breaking point.
       I think this applies to real life because it teaches us that we can never run away from our sins. They will always be with us but if we confess and don't let it pile up, then it's okay. This kind of relates to the statement of how you tell so many lies that you don't even remember the truth anymore. This is the same with sins. If you let them pile up then it will drive you insane. You will lose your identity and sanity. More concisely: the truth will set you free.